It's not hard when the list of names he's looking out for is so short. He notices when his cousin gets added to the app, shakes his head when it's another day without Okuni, but then there's something else. There's someone else and whatever he's focusing on is immediately abandoned. He runs right out of a scheduled photoshoot claiming an emergency, luckily just short of having changed into whatever costume was asked of him. There's no time for photos and fashion, none.
There are times when he's grateful for his newfound skill in crossing difficult terrains, the balance and agility giving him yet another advantage over most people. As he zips across the city skyline as quickly as he can, this is one of them. It's not the effort or the movement that manages to make his breathing labored, but rather the gasps of excitement as he immediately heads straight for Nikkari's apartment.
Because Nikkari's here.
In every way that counts, Nikkari is here.
They'd just been together so recently, but Baren has no interest in waiting - now that Nikkari remembers, he decides immediately that he has no interest in being apart from him until he's caught up with everything. Everything.
He doesn't have to hold back anymore.
It's that thought that manages to inspire a truly happy smile on his face as he opens the window to Nikkari's room without hesitation, seeing it as his own personal entrance as always. Then there's the gasp for breath, exhilarated and he throws himself at Nikkari completely and totally without any other warning than - ]
[this is all weird, this is really strange, this app is making the world be different and Nikkari's trying to make sense of it all. colors he hadn't even remembered as gone are, a day in the past thrown into weird relief - his eye has gone gray and strange. it's concerning, and he's making a mental list of changes.
but glancing over the names that he sees furiously quick and responding, asking questions he has, he's soothed in how not alone he is in at least acclimating to this, it's something that's baffling to many. and he recognizes some of these names, and it's shocking to see an entire secret world he didn't know of around him.
Baren's name is there, and suddenly, things begin to make more sense. strange words and actions he'd brushed off as Baren being himself are explained in this instant. he knew, and he couldn't have said. and that's why...
it's at that moment his window opens, and the very person he was thinking of is coming through. Nikkari can already tell that he's going to hit the floor, accepts his fate with arms wide open and a huge, true smile.]
Horses! I remember them now!
[how could he have forgotten? how could he have forgotten blue, and green, and the way the sky was supposed to be?]
The verbal confirmation means the world, the smile of understanding and happiness despite the situation even more than that - and Baren throws himself at Nikkari with reckless abandon and unabashed, sincere affection. He'd been waiting.
God, he'd been waiting.
It's last minute - how he turns them when they're still falling so he takes the brunt of the fall and lets Nikkari fall on top of him. He's already bruised from the month before, what's a little bit more? He barely even feels it, laughing as happily as he is to feel a reunion slide into place.]
Stupid.
[said far too fondly, expressed even in Baren's one visible eye.]
[because it has been a while, if he traces through his memories. the smile can't even begin to fade, because he understands now and sees despite how weird and messed up it all is - there's joy in knowing the truth. he laughs because Baren laughed, and it feels like some kind of distance between them has closed again. they're back to how they should be.]
I want to know everything. Everything worth telling.
[The only person who can be on the exact same wavelength as Baren is Okuni.
... but damn if Nikkari doesn't get close.
Baren gives a one-sided shrug as if to admit - yeah, Nika did take too long to get there - but then moves to sit up. He doesn't care if Nika's still on him or not, but he'll at least give him the full rundown if that's what he wants.]
Retrospec, possibly our creepy overlords. Confirmed that they see everything that we use their app for, might even follow us around. Haven't figured out how to circumvent the second part yet, but we're pretty much under constant surveillance.
I hate being watched... but I'm not really sure what the purpose of it is for yet.
You might start seeing weird shit soon, getting weird stuff in the mail, or finding stuff on the street that you feel is meant to be yours. That kind of thing.
Kiyo-chan's on the network. Z too. You're late, Nika.
[... even if there's an obvious person that Baren omits. Even now, he's still waiting.]
[it's not like he's desperate to be rid of Baren's presence, so don't mind him hanging out really close while he listens to all of this. it's a sobering though, that they were being watched, that things are going to happen. things like the city being destroyed, and then it simply wasn't.
he notices that pause, but he says nothing. Baren's hoping, and for now, that has to be enough.]
Ah man, that's a lot of people...I've been missing out. Sorry for being late.
[even if it wasn't his fault.]
I have to figure out a good way to greet everyone and let them know I've showed up, huh? Not just another comment complaining about how the grass is gray. It's got to be interesting.
[he pauses for a second, though.]
Were you looking for me, Baren?
[there's a smile that promises a lot of shitty jokes if it's not stopped.]
Just as well as he knows that - yes, yes he was. There are few people that Baren still cared to look for in the city that weren't already on the app, it just so happened that some of those people were the ones dearest to him. Each day he looks for Okuni's name, and up until today, Nika's right along with it.
It's not as if he ever would've stopped looking.
- Not that he says that out loud, instead letting a smile of his own play over his lips as he lets his arms wrap around Nikkari's waist. Partially for teasing, partially for comfort, mostly for unknown reasons past the fact that it's just what they do.]
[it's comfortable like this. it's better, to be back and no longer late and to understand what's been going on - sure, he needs to catch up, but he can do that. it's better to have Baren back with him, to be here and think that a stupid phone app is no longer causing an unseen rift between them.]
So that means I came in at the best possible moment to save your life. Don't I deserve praise for that?
[praise isn't needed. now they're just a pair of eyes between two people who can see each other again clearly.]
[He entertains the thought, raising a brow at the notion of it. Already there appear to be cogs working in his brain, a chain of thoughts that Nika isn't quite privy to - not yet, but the reveal is coming.]
I dunno Nika, I think I might need a little bit more from you still. Are you up for it?
[Up the stakes, raising the ante without a second thought. That's Baren for you.]
This is still the fastest that anyone's ever gotten this request from Baren:]
One - your honesty.
[It's unflinching and certain, a moment of seriousness from Baren that appears to be a clear break from the teasing. But that's the lure, the invitation. For all that Baren adores Nika, knows that he can trust Nikkari when it counts to be there for him and pull him out of messes.... this is something that he needs before anything else.]
You can keep your secrets, Nika, or you can tell me what you want.
I haven't lied to you before, and I don't want to change that.
[sure, there were times that he had looked at him and said that he didn't want to talk about something, but even that is honesty in secrets. that's trusting him to not push too hard.]
You have my honesty.
[he says this looking into Baren's eye, keeping his gaze steady. the joking is shelved for the moment - this is important, so he'll put it out simply.]
It settles in his chest comfortably. That makes almost all the people that he considers dear to him accounted for in their honesty, their willingness to give Baren the truth even when he doesn't know up from down, who or what else to believe in.
So Baren leans up just enough to press his lips to Nika's forehead, letting him know that he's heard and -
A kiss to fill the space where Baren ought to promise something in return.
But Baren is a snake and he's hardened his heart to inequalities in loyalty. If Nika asked for something in return for his honesty, Baren would likely give it - but he doesn't offer it up himself. It doesn't feel right, but it feels like what he's done for two decades.
Given that, he moves on:]
Two - Chuu is on Retrospec.
[And given Zoro's confession, there's now something that he can only ask Nikkari to help him with.]
[the thing is, Baren doesn't need to give him anything. he doesn't, because Nikkari trusts him - maybe a bad decision, but he's trusted him since he actually got a name out of him and found himself wrapped up in the crazy decisions and situations that just happen to them, found himself wearing a jacket to ward off the cold and heard laughter at his expense that he ended up sharing. it's just part of who they are. if he needs to be reminded that yes, Nika will tell him the truth - then he'll give it to him, because while to him it's unspoken law that you don't lie to those you care about, it still is reassuring to hear.
Nikkari trusts him, trusts that he can put his life and his sanity in Baren's hands and come out better for it. a kiss is more than enough when someone asks for nothing.
Chuuya though. Chuuya's a bit of a problem. or a lot of one, depending on the day. and Chuuya's on Retrospec.]
How long? As long as you?
[the look on his face says he's ready for whatever Baren needs in this respect.]
[ . . . and there's silence. Nikkari asks for nothing and Baren almost wishes that he had. What on earth kind of person must he be to be given someone like Nikkari, in all his unflinching certainty? Certainly he'd done nothing to deserve it.
It doesn't stop him from moving on.]
Longer.
The thing's been around since Founder's Day, from what I found. I searched the archives when I got in, which was a few months ago. He's been in it since Day One. An easy source of information, at least.
[Since Baren is an information monger. He wants answers. He's gotten them, at least.]
Ah - I didn't mention it because it would've made even less sense to you before, but I said I'd be his partner. Not like that... but I agreed to it. Don't ask me why.
[Because the answer is manipulation. Manipulation for Chuuya's own good, of course, to keep him safe and out of harm's way if he were to consider Baren his partner and trust him with what mattered... but manipulation nonetheless.]
He's gotten too comfortable, though.
[Right back to possibly asking for more than Baren can give.]
[he doesn't need to ask to know. it was smart to team up with someone who knew everything - and while Nika can rely on Baren for a good amount of information, he'll need to be self sufficient and do the same. and it was to Baren's benefit to keep Chuuya within sight, at arm's length.
but it was always risky.]
You want to use me to drive him off.
[cruel, but necessary. Nikkari knows the whole story, knows the song and dance and repetitions it goes through by now.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
post-retrospec | action | this is my home now
It's not hard when the list of names he's looking out for is so short. He notices when his cousin gets added to the app, shakes his head when it's another day without Okuni, but then there's something else. There's someone else and whatever he's focusing on is immediately abandoned. He runs right out of a scheduled photoshoot claiming an emergency, luckily just short of having changed into whatever costume was asked of him. There's no time for photos and fashion, none.
There are times when he's grateful for his newfound skill in crossing difficult terrains, the balance and agility giving him yet another advantage over most people. As he zips across the city skyline as quickly as he can, this is one of them. It's not the effort or the movement that manages to make his breathing labored, but rather the gasps of excitement as he immediately heads straight for Nikkari's apartment.
Because Nikkari's here.
In every way that counts, Nikkari is here.
They'd just been together so recently, but Baren has no interest in waiting - now that Nikkari remembers, he decides immediately that he has no interest in being apart from him until he's caught up with everything. Everything.
He doesn't have to hold back anymore.
It's that thought that manages to inspire a truly happy smile on his face as he opens the window to Nikkari's room without hesitation, seeing it as his own personal entrance as always. Then there's the gasp for breath, exhilarated and he throws himself at Nikkari completely and totally without any other warning than - ]
Horses, motherfucker!!
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but glancing over the names that he sees furiously quick and responding, asking questions he has, he's soothed in how not alone he is in at least acclimating to this, it's something that's baffling to many. and he recognizes some of these names, and it's shocking to see an entire secret world he didn't know of around him.
Baren's name is there, and suddenly, things begin to make more sense. strange words and actions he'd brushed off as Baren being himself are explained in this instant. he knew, and he couldn't have said. and that's why...
it's at that moment his window opens, and the very person he was thinking of is coming through. Nikkari can already tell that he's going to hit the floor, accepts his fate with arms wide open and a huge, true smile.]
Horses! I remember them now!
[how could he have forgotten? how could he have forgotten blue, and green, and the way the sky was supposed to be?]
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The verbal confirmation means the world, the smile of understanding and happiness despite the situation even more than that - and Baren throws himself at Nikkari with reckless abandon and unabashed, sincere affection. He'd been waiting.
God, he'd been waiting.
It's last minute - how he turns them when they're still falling so he takes the brunt of the fall and lets Nikkari fall on top of him. He's already bruised from the month before, what's a little bit more? He barely even feels it, laughing as happily as he is to feel a reunion slide into place.]
Stupid.
[said far too fondly, expressed even in Baren's one visible eye.]
What the hell am I going to do with you?
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[because it has been a while, if he traces through his memories. the smile can't even begin to fade, because he understands now and sees despite how weird and messed up it all is - there's joy in knowing the truth. he laughs because Baren laughed, and it feels like some kind of distance between them has closed again. they're back to how they should be.]
I want to know everything. Everything worth telling.
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... but damn if Nikkari doesn't get close.
Baren gives a one-sided shrug as if to admit - yeah, Nika did take too long to get there - but then moves to sit up. He doesn't care if Nika's still on him or not, but he'll at least give him the full rundown if that's what he wants.]
Retrospec, possibly our creepy overlords. Confirmed that they see everything that we use their app for, might even follow us around. Haven't figured out how to circumvent the second part yet, but we're pretty much under constant surveillance.
I hate being watched... but I'm not really sure what the purpose of it is for yet.
You might start seeing weird shit soon, getting weird stuff in the mail, or finding stuff on the street that you feel is meant to be yours. That kind of thing.
Kiyo-chan's on the network. Z too. You're late, Nika.
[... even if there's an obvious person that Baren omits. Even now, he's still waiting.]
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he notices that pause, but he says nothing. Baren's hoping, and for now, that has to be enough.]
Ah man, that's a lot of people...I've been missing out. Sorry for being late.
[even if it wasn't his fault.]
I have to figure out a good way to greet everyone and let them know I've showed up, huh? Not just another comment complaining about how the grass is gray. It's got to be interesting.
[he pauses for a second, though.]
Were you looking for me, Baren?
[there's a smile that promises a lot of shitty jokes if it's not stopped.]
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Just as well as he knows that - yes, yes he was. There are few people that Baren still cared to look for in the city that weren't already on the app, it just so happened that some of those people were the ones dearest to him. Each day he looks for Okuni's name, and up until today, Nika's right along with it.
It's not as if he ever would've stopped looking.
- Not that he says that out loud, instead letting a smile of his own play over his lips as he lets his arms wrap around Nikkari's waist. Partially for teasing, partially for comfort, mostly for unknown reasons past the fact that it's just what they do.]
Aren't I always, Nika?
I nearly died of boredom without you.
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So that means I came in at the best possible moment to save your life. Don't I deserve praise for that?
[praise isn't needed. now they're just a pair of eyes between two people who can see each other again clearly.]
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[He entertains the thought, raising a brow at the notion of it. Already there appear to be cogs working in his brain, a chain of thoughts that Nika isn't quite privy to - not yet, but the reveal is coming.]
I dunno Nika, I think I might need a little bit more from you still. Are you up for it?
[Up the stakes, raising the ante without a second thought. That's Baren for you.]
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[that's how he is, and that Nikkari rises to it, adapts and changes to it, is part of how he is.]
Of course I am.
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This is still the fastest that anyone's ever gotten this request from Baren:]
One - your honesty.
[It's unflinching and certain, a moment of seriousness from Baren that appears to be a clear break from the teasing. But that's the lure, the invitation. For all that Baren adores Nika, knows that he can trust Nikkari when it counts to be there for him and pull him out of messes.... this is something that he needs before anything else.]
You can keep your secrets, Nika, or you can tell me what you want.
But I need to always be able to believe you.
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[sure, there were times that he had looked at him and said that he didn't want to talk about something, but even that is honesty in secrets. that's trusting him to not push too hard.]
You have my honesty.
[he says this looking into Baren's eye, keeping his gaze steady. the joking is shelved for the moment - this is important, so he'll put it out simply.]
Always.
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That's all he needs to cling onto.
It settles in his chest comfortably. That makes almost all the people that he considers dear to him accounted for in their honesty, their willingness to give Baren the truth even when he doesn't know up from down, who or what else to believe in.
So Baren leans up just enough to press his lips to Nika's forehead, letting him know that he's heard and -
A kiss to fill the space where Baren ought to promise something in return.
But Baren is a snake and he's hardened his heart to inequalities in loyalty. If Nika asked for something in return for his honesty, Baren would likely give it - but he doesn't offer it up himself. It doesn't feel right, but it feels like what he's done for two decades.
Given that, he moves on:]
Two - Chuu is on Retrospec.
[And given Zoro's confession, there's now something that he can only ask Nikkari to help him with.]
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Nikkari trusts him, trusts that he can put his life and his sanity in Baren's hands and come out better for it. a kiss is more than enough when someone asks for nothing.
Chuuya though. Chuuya's a bit of a problem. or a lot of one, depending on the day. and Chuuya's on Retrospec.]
How long? As long as you?
[the look on his face says he's ready for whatever Baren needs in this respect.]
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It doesn't stop him from moving on.]
Longer.
The thing's been around since Founder's Day, from what I found. I searched the archives when I got in, which was a few months ago. He's been in it since Day One. An easy source of information, at least.
[Since Baren is an information monger. He wants answers. He's gotten them, at least.]
Ah - I didn't mention it because it would've made even less sense to you before, but I said I'd be his partner. Not like that... but I agreed to it. Don't ask me why.
[Because the answer is manipulation. Manipulation for Chuuya's own good, of course, to keep him safe and out of harm's way if he were to consider Baren his partner and trust him with what mattered... but manipulation nonetheless.]
He's gotten too comfortable, though.
[Right back to possibly asking for more than Baren can give.]
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but it was always risky.]
You want to use me to drive him off.
[cruel, but necessary. Nikkari knows the whole story, knows the song and dance and repetitions it goes through by now.]
What do you need me to do?
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Be my Nika.
Or at least not flinch when I call you that.
That's gonna annoy the shit out of him. To be fair, I won't lie - but if he gets the wrong idea about us, I won't complain either.
[Cruel? Yes. Necessary? In Baren's head - of course.]
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Got it. Now's where I get to ask you if you were just looking for an excuse to call me that.
["my Nika." he's never living this down, is he. it's far too easy for Nikkari to settle into the idea of being called that.]
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[was he supposed to deny it
that doesn't sound like fun]
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Say it as often as you want. I almost expected you to ask for worse.
[which he would have agreed to because let's be real with ourselves here.]
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Yeah? Like what?
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I don't know. I'm just saying if the nickname doesn't irritate him enough, then if we need to go to more blatant measures, I'm for it.
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I'm actually feeling sushi and calamari sometime soon if you're in.
[why not just make a date night out of it]
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[date night is fun? date night means he gets to dress up a little and usually laugh until his stomach hurts from it.]
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Then let's do that. Not today - you have to catch up on some other things first. Can't do that when I'd be too focused on the sushi.
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